The Budget

I recently decided to take up budgeting. I may or may not have had to review the actual definition of the word. As my "salary" is ramen noodles away from minimum wage I figured I could probably do with some good money management practices. Just so you know, I have never, ever budgeted, aside from putting away money for weekend escapades. Don't get me wrong, I've always paid my rent and bills on time, except in college when I drank my rent money then dashed to the plasma-donation center to prostitute my fluids for cash.  Beyond that, I basically view the excess cash left in my checking account as a fun times fund, never tossing back any extra for savings or emergencies. I know, Responsible, that's my middle name.

However, I am now bound and determined to get my stuff straight. I may not make a ton of money, but the money I do generate needs to stop disappearing faster than a cold front in Texas. In that light, I have created a master budget that will allow me to pay off all my debt by June (fyi, my debts include one credit card and a car that's about 75% paid for). This means that my monthly spending allowance will be around $200. I figure come June, I'll have about $500-600 a month back in my pretty little pocket.

Until June however, I'm going to be going through withdrawals. Until June I'm going to have to perform the excruciatingly painful task of saying no to friends who want me to meet them out for a beer. The task of not even walking into a Target. The task of not going out to eat Mexican food when I get the inevitable craving for complimentary chips and salsa. The task of buying the store-brand spicy mustard (which is NOT the same!) instead of the delicious super-horseradish-y brand that I usually get. The task of not getting within a 10-mile radius of a bookstore. I'll possibly have to become one of those people I despise who sit in the bookstore all night reading books but never actually buying them.

If you are a family member or close friend reading this, I apologize in advance for giving you a crappy Christmas/birthday gift this year. It will probably be something along the lines of the following:

a) A card I make with my own hands consisting of a single sheet of notebook paper folded in half with a nice little drawing on the front and a nice little note inside. Thoughtful, no?
b) A cake with 3/4 of the proper ingredients. Yum!
c) A plant or flower I dug up and stole from my apartment complex. Everyone loves getting flowers!!!

Please accept my apology in advance. When I pay off all my debt you may or may not get a better gift. (But probably not.)

Wish me luck!!!